Self Care: How to Set Boundaries and Protect Your Peace

Do you ever feel drained after constantly saying "yes" to things you don’t want to do?

Or find yourself feeling resentful because people overstep your limits? If so, it's time to set some boundaries! Boundaries aren't about pushing people away; they’re about protecting your energy, mental health, and personal space.

I used to struggle with this—whether it was in my personal life such as overcommitting to things I didn’t have time for; or in my professional world, allowing clients to message me at all hours, or letting people guilt-trip me into free access or huge discounts. It took me a while to realize that setting boundaries isn’t mean; it’s necessary.

Here are 10 practical tips to help you set and maintain healthy boundaries in your personal and professional life:

1. Identify Your Limits

Before you can set boundaries, you need to know what your personal limits are. Ask yourself:

• What makes me feel drained or resentful?

• What situations cause me stress or discomfort?

• Where do I need more space, time, or respect?

For me, I realized that constantly saying “yes” to last-minute requests left me exhausted and overwhelmed. Even in my personal life, if I feel someone has approached me in a way that I don't feel comfortable with, I felt the need to indulge for the sake of avoiding conflict. I eventually learned that I was a people-pleaser but I needed to start setting limits on when and how I allowed people to access my time.

2. Communicate Clearly

One of the biggest mistakes people make is assuming others will automatically respect their boundaries. But here’s the truth: people treat you how you allow them to.

For example, if a friend always calls late at night when you’re winding down, you might say:👉 "Hey, I go to bed early, so I won’t be answering calls after 9 PM. Let’s catch up during the day!"

No long explanations needed. Keep it clear and direct.

3. Be Consistent

Setting boundaries once isn’t enough—you have to reinforce them. Setting boundaries like any new task if unfamiliar to you, takes practice. Keep at it until you get it right and once you do, keep at it until it becomes a habit. If I tell a client I don’t work on weekends but then respond to their messages anyway, they’ll assume my boundary isn’t serious. Stick to your word so others learn to respect your limits.

4. Learn to Say No Without Guilt

Many of us, especially women, have been conditioned to be people-pleasers. But saying “no” is a form of self-care, not selfishness.

Not long ago, I had a guy DM me, asking for nude pictures just because I teach Twerk classes. As if teaching dance somehow meant I was okay with that kind of request! Instead of entertaining it, I shut it down immediately—I told him NO, then blocked him without a second thought. And let me tell you, it felt amazing.

The old me might have felt guilty, awkward, or even tried to "explain" why that was inappropriate. I may have even indulged especially under the naivety that I thought someone liked me.

But now? I owe no one an explanation for protecting my boundaries.

The same applies to any situation where someone oversteps—whether it’s a stranger in your DMs, a friend pushing your limits, or a coworker expecting too much. Your NO is a complete sentence.

5. Recognize When Boundaries Are Being Crossed

Although I don't particularly give dating advice, if you meet

Pay attention to signs like:

🚩 Feeling resentful after agreeing to something

🚩 Being constantly drained or overwhelmed

🚩 Feeling like people take advantage of you

If you notice these feelings, it’s time to re-evaluate and reinforce your boundaries.

6. Set Boundaries with Yourself

Sometimes, we’re our own worst enemy. If you tend to overwork, procrastinate, or engage in unhealthy habits, set personal boundaries like:

• Sticking to a sleep schedule

• Not checking work emails after a certain time

• Scheduling “me time” just like any other important appointment

I had to set a boundary with myself about not checking emails after 7 PM because I found myself constantly working late into the night.

7. Use “I” Statements

Instead of blaming others, frame your boundaries around how you feel. This prevents unnecessary arguments.

Instead of saying, “You never respect my time,” try:👉 "I feel overwhelmed when I’m constantly asked to do last-minute favors. I need more notice in advance."

It shifts the conversation from blame to personal needs.

8. Expect Resistance & Stay Firm

Not everyone will like your boundaries—especially if they benefited from you not having any. Some people may try to guilt-trip or pressure you.

I learned this firsthand when a cousin of mine asked me to train them for free, just because we were close. Now, I love my family, but this is my business—something I’ve invested time, money, and effort into. I politely but firmly told them:

👉 "I’d love to help you reach your fitness goals, and I have different packages that fit all budgets. Let me know what works for you!"

Of course, they didn’t like my answer. They tried to play the “but we’re family” card, but I stood firm. Because here’s the thing, if it were a personal trainer that worked at a gym like LA Fitness, they would have to pay for the membership and service... regardless of how much they came to the gym.

That and if someone truly respects you, they’ll respect your work and time too.

So, whether it’s a friend wanting free services, a boss expecting unpaid overtime, or a relative who doesn’t acknowledge your professional worth, hold your boundary. If they get upset, that’s on them, not you.

9. Surround Yourself with Supportive People

True friends, family, and colleagues will respect your limits. If someone constantly ignores or pushes back on your boundaries, ask yourself if they really have your best interests at heart.

I once had a client who kept asking for “quick favors” outside of our agreed sessions. When I reinforced my boundary, they got upset. That showed me they didn’t respect my time, so I let them go. This is what transformed me from a good coach to a better one.

10. Prioritize Self-Care (and Don't Feel Guilty About It!)

Boundaries are a form of self-respect. Protecting your time, energy, and peace allows you to be your best self—for yourself and others. It isn't said enough but rest is more than self-care, it's a part of fitness too!

Setting boundaries isn’t about shutting people out—it’s about making space for what truly matters. Whether it’s your mental health, business, relationships, or personal growth, creating healthy boundaries will help you thrive.

Boundaries aren’t just about saying no to others—they’re also about saying yes to yourself. That means making space for rest, self-care, and mental clarity, even when others don’t understand.

I had to learn this the hard way. While I’m great at setting boundaries around my physical health—like not overbooking myself with classes—I realized I wasn’t as firm when it came to protecting my rest days.

One weekend, I decided to turn off my phone because it was my scheduled rest day. But guess what? Someone still tried to contact me, expecting me to drop everything for them. The old me would have felt obligated to respond—to put their needs above my own.

But this time? I didn’t. I reminded myself:

👉 “Their lack of boundaries is not my responsibility.”

Instead of making myself accessible 24/7, I honored my own needs. And let me tell you, it felt freeing.

But let’s be real—boundary-setting is a process. I still catch myself falling back into old habits, like over-explaining or feeling guilty for putting myself first. And that’s okay. Growth takes time. The key is to keep recognizing where we need stronger boundaries and to practice enforcing them without guilt.

So, if you’re still struggling, you’re not alone. Setting boundaries is a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice. But the more you do it, the stronger and more confident you become. 💛

Final Thoughts

If you’ve struggled with setting boundaries in the past, don’t be hard on yourself—it’s a skill that takes practice! Start small, stay consistent, and remember: you don’t need permission to protect your peace.

What’s a boundary you’ve set that changed your life? Let me know in the comments! 👇🏽✨ 😊

Disclaimer:

The tips provided in this blog are for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional for medical diagnosis before starting any new fitness program, especially if you have any underlying medical conditions or injuries.